My friends at work have
been pressing me to start a blog for over a year now. I have several
friends and family members who all keep blogs. I even tried to do one
while I was pregnant last year, however it quickly fell to the side as
morning sickness kicked my butt the whole 8 months I was pregnant.
I
didn't think I wanted to create one because it is too much of a commitment. I already have a million things to do and keep track of at
home and at work, why the heck would I want to add one more???
Well,
ever since the birth of my daughter, the future has been playing in my
head. What if something bad happens to me before Jocelyn is old enough
to know who I am? What if she never hears the happy and unhappy
fairytale of me and her daddy. What if she never gets to hear the
lessons I've learned which might be able to help her in some way?
I've
recently discovered how some people view me, the negative thoughts they
have of me... Of course it doesn't surprise me, not everyone is going
to like me. However, if something was to happen to me, these could end
up being the people who describe me to my daughter. Do I really want my
daughter hear from someone else, oh, your mother was a horrible
person. Oh your mother did this or that. Oh, can you believe your
mother allowed or did THIS?
Death
scares me now. It is every where and can happen to anyone at anytime.
In a blink of an eye I can be gone and then what? I have a few
journals, notebooks, letters, and such from when I was younger but the
past several years I've pretty much stopped writing in a journal.
So
maybe it is time for me to start my blog, not for the purpose of
helping or entertaining other people, though I don't mind if that
happens. This is mainly to create an electronic way for my daughter and
any other future children (and maybe even grand, great grandchildren)
to get to know me and how my brain works.
Hopefully I'll do better up-keeping this blog than I did with the pregnancy one, lol.
